Saturday, May 30, 2009
It's all coming true!
I will give my best shot, making this my life career & an everlasting journey in life.
God bless!
I will give my best shot, making this my life career & an everlasting journey in life.
God bless!
Argh! Thinking if I should defer my studies. 2 days more to think this through!
5:13 AM
Friday, May 08, 2009
Started my day off with a bad phone call from Dad. I told him about the camp that I will be attending tmr & slowly we continued chatting over the phone about my brother, my brother's new girlfriend, Mum, and life. It continued on for about a good 15mins before the both of us got a little agitated and decided not to continue chatting by me saying, "Okay la, don't say so much. Not free now."
I was very hurt by his words & decisions.
I'm very hurt...
You know the feeling of losing someone so close to you? You know the feeling of not being to know how the person is doing even though both of you are in the same country? So near yet, so far away! You know the feeling of crying to bed every night and hoping the next day will be a better day? You know the feeling of seeing the tiredness in your parents' eyes? You know the feeling of hearing the breathing tone of your parents' whom are very tired after a long day at work?
Sigh..
I was talking to Desmond and Glenn this afternoon. I've learnt:
Don't let those laughing at you laugh for too long.
Don't let your loved ones wait for you, wait for too long.
You are who you think you are.
I'll be away to Team Building Challenge Camp with my partners for a good 3 days 2 nights. I will make it very worth it! & I'm very sure it will be a good one!
I want to have my high four-figured pay cheque this month!!
I want to go up on stage during next seminar to receive my award as a Regional Manager!!
Ultimately,
I WANT TO GIVE MY MUM A BETTER LIFE!
Fuck whatever judgements others have of me, my life and my family.
I'm gonna make them take back their words!
Heading to bed to rest before meeting Michelle and Jerry for breakfast, and then to the camp site to gather with the rest. TBC.. HERE WE COMEEEEEEEE! :)
2:24 AM
Thursday, May 07, 2009
I was having a long chat with my partners about life.
I realized.. I'm feeling very guilty!
Guilty for not abling to:
- Support my parents whom are in their 50s, yet working so hard to sustain the family.
- Give my parents whatever they have been yearning for. (Holiday trips to Hong Kong, Paris & London, laid-back life, drive luxurious car (at least a BMW 3-Series), etc.)
Above all these, it only points down to one thing: I have yet returned my parents a favor!
I asked myself the past few hours, "How long more do my parents have to slaughter before they could retire safely?"
Give me 3 years! Just 3 years to change their lifestyle & my lifestyle! I WILL GIVE IN MY BEST!
As I was looking at my parents while they are fast asleep, all I could feel was tiredness. They are very tired! Tired of working! They need a break, really!
Mum & Dad, give me some time, but I won't let you wait for too long.
Sigh.. As I'm typing this, I'm tearing. I feel useless.
People of my age have been asking me why am I so desperate about money.
I just have an answer to them:
I realized.. I'm feeling very guilty!
Guilty for not abling to:
- Support my parents whom are in their 50s, yet working so hard to sustain the family.
- Give my parents whatever they have been yearning for. (Holiday trips to Hong Kong, Paris & London, laid-back life, drive luxurious car (at least a BMW 3-Series), etc.)
Above all these, it only points down to one thing: I have yet returned my parents a favor!
I asked myself the past few hours, "How long more do my parents have to slaughter before they could retire safely?"
Give me 3 years! Just 3 years to change their lifestyle & my lifestyle! I WILL GIVE IN MY BEST!
As I was looking at my parents while they are fast asleep, all I could feel was tiredness. They are very tired! Tired of working! They need a break, really!
Mum & Dad, give me some time, but I won't let you wait for too long.
Sigh.. As I'm typing this, I'm tearing. I feel useless.
People of my age have been asking me why am I so desperate about money.
I just have an answer to them:
I'm afraid my parents can't wait for too long!
4:14 AM